


Coming To An Understanding

by athersgeo



Series: The Sacoridian Snippets [1]
Category: Green Rider Series - Kristen Britain
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-22
Updated: 2015-12-22
Packaged: 2018-05-08 12:46:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5497562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/athersgeo/pseuds/athersgeo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Estora and Karigan finally talk about life, love and the future</p>
            </blockquote>





	Coming To An Understanding

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Waterfall](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Waterfall/gifts).



> The characters aren't mine - I'm just borrowing them for a little while. No money made, no harm, no foul.
> 
> Set after the end of Mirror Sight - but barely.
> 
> I very much like the idea of OT3 between Karigan, Estora and Zachary, but I couldn't make it work. I'm hoping this is the next best thing!

Karigan would undoubtedly argue that she wasn't hiding from anyone at all. On light duties as a result of her assorted adventures over the summer, she was around and about the castle. And yet, Estora knew that Karigan was most definitely hiding all the same.

Or perhaps hiding wasn't quite the right word.

Avoiding.

That was it.

Stuck on bed rest probably for at least another week, she had hoped that now Karigan was up and around her one-time friend might at the least find some pretext to come and visit, but she hadn't. She'd seen other Riders – chiefly Ben and Captain Mapstone – but not Karigan.

Did Karigan blame her for Richmont's actions?

That was possible, Estora supposed, but she had a feeling if that were the root cause of any ill-will, Karigan would have said so. No, this had all the same hallmarks as when Karigan had first attempted to withdraw from their friendship, when Estora had been first betroved to Zachary. Caused, Estora now knew, by a degree of longing and jealousy – though that hardly seemed the right word; Karigan wasn't that petty – that estrangement had only been resolved by Second Empire's kidnap of her. Estora really did not wish to go to those lengths again!

She wondered what would happen if she were to summon Karigan. If she were to demand – as a queen could – that her loyal servant should attend her.

"That is a most impressive grimace."

Estora glanced up to see her Weapon, Ellen, regarding her with a degree of amusement. "I thought Weapons weren't supposed to make personal comments."

"And in the normal way of things, you don't scowl at your embroidery as if it's done you a grave disservice," Ellen replied. "If there is a problem, perhaps I can help?"

Estora stared. "You embroider?"

"I do – though not to your standard."

Estora blinked. She'd never considered that Weapons might have hobbies beyond guarding members of the royal family and looking like barely animated statues.

"Besides, that wasn't what I meant," Ellen continued. "My assumption is the cause of your scowl is something other than your work."

Grateful to dismiss the incredibly silly mental image of Ellen, dressed in her full uniform, daintily wielding a needle, Estora nodded. "Perhaps you can help at that."

Ellen leaned forwards, just ever so slightly. "What troubles you, your highness?"

"Karigan."

"Ah."

Weapons, Estora had found, had an entire range of different noises that were slightly more than simple grunts but considerably less than actual words. She had come to discern that this particular one tended to represent a situation when the Weapon concerned knew something that she didn't and that they thought she wasn't going to like.

"Ah, what?"

Ellen shifted in her seat a little uncomfortably. "It is not a simple matter."

Estora allowed herself a wry smile. "It never is, so far as Karigan is concerned."

"And you are not the only one whom she has been avoiding."

"Oh?"

"My brother-at-arms, Fastion."

At that, Estora lowered her embroidery and stared at Ellen in frank disbelief. "How on earth can one possibly avoid a Weapon? You show up in the most unlikely places!"

Ellen flashed just the faintest of smiles. "And yet, she is managing to do just that."

Briefly Estora considered having Karigan teach her that particular trick. In the next moment, she shook her head. Confined to this bed, she had no need of it, and once the twins were born, she wouldn't have the time or inclination to slip away.

"Has anyone asked her about it?"

"Donal has and, I believe, so has Captain Mapstone."

"And nothing came of it," Estora judged.

"No, your highness."

Estora nodded. That was no great surprise; forcing Karigan to talk never went well. That was the whole reason she wouldn't resort to the Green Foot. But maybe… "Ellen, can you send a runner for Master Vanlynn – and please stress there is nothing wrong! I simply have a question."

At that addition, Ellen actually shuddered. The last time a runner had been sent for Master Vanlynn from these chambers, the message had simply been "The Queen needs a mender!" which had produced a thoroughly unnecessary (to say nothing of embarrassing) flurry of panicking menders to Estora's chambers when all she'd actually desired was to be allowed to vary her diet.

Once the message was sent, Ellen gave Estora a very long and measured look. "You have a plan?"

"I have an idea, yes – I cannot, will not, force Karigan to attend me. But, perhaps, with the correct supervision, I can be permitted to attend her."

Ellen frowned. "Master Vanlynn will never sanction an excursion."

"With what I have in mind, she just might." There was, if she recalled, an apprentice carpenter amongst the Riders these days – that would definitely help. Just as long as the mender could be persuaded to hear her out.

~*~

It was nearly an hour before Master Vanlynn arrived.

It was time Estora had put to good use, refining her plans and arguments.

"You are well, your highness?" Vanlynn asked as she arrived. "The message I received said you had a question."

"I do. I should like, very much to visit a different part of the castle for an afternoon."

If Estora was expecting Vanlynn to express surprise at this request, she was sadly let down. All that happened was that Vanlynn nodded. "You will need help with the stairs and you will need to be sure to dress warmly – it is chilly even yet."

Estora wasn't certain who was the more surprised, her or Ellen.

Vanlynn actually chuckled. "You are well enough, I believe, to stand such a genteel excursion, especially if you are planning to go where I suspect."

Estora's eyes narrowed. "And just where is that?"

"The Rider Wing, to see Sir Karigan."

That Ellen's jaw actually – if briefly – hinged open with surprise made Estora feel a little better. "How did you know?"

Vanlynn's smile faded and was replaced by a strong measure of concern. "From something Captain Mapstone said, I was hoping that was your intended plan."

Estora glanced at Ellen, but she'd turned inscrutable once more. "What do you mean?"

Vanlynn sighed. "Forgive me, your highness. Sir Karigan is not..." The mender pursed her lips for a few moments. "She is not altogether well in mind or body. We are doing what we can for the body, but the mind always takes longer to heal and there is clearly something that she refuses to speak of with anyone within the Riders and that is hindering her recovery. Captain Mapstone indicated that you and Sir Karigan were friends. It may be, with your greater distance from the Riders, she can confide in you what she cannot with those she sees everyday."

"I had no idea."

"Nor should you." Vanlynn shook her head. "You have been ill yourself and are in a still-delicate condition. There have been standing orders not to cause you undue distress."

Inwardly Estora winced at that. She hated being treated like spun glass. "So I may get up?"

"You may, after lunch."

Lunch was still more than an hour away. Estora opened her mouth to try bargaining and found herself on the wrong end of one of Vanlynn's more pointed glares.

"Half a cake is better than no cake at all," said the healer. "After lunch and not a moment before. And do not think," she added, "of ordering your lunch early. You know very well what is meant, your highness."

"I will remain in bed until at least two bell this afternoon," said Estora meekly.

Vanlynn's expression shifted to suggest she was satisfied by this. "Your maid will be sent in then to help you dress."

And with that, the master healer bustled out of the room, leaving Estora to reflect that sometimes, even when one won with a healer, one so frequently also lost.

~*~

Duly as the tones of the bell sounding two faded, her maid entered and, for the first time in nearly two weeks, Estora climbed out of bed to properly dress. Those two weeks had seen a number of changes to her body not readily apparent in loose night gowns and it rapidly became apparent that little of her old wardrobe would come remotely close to fitting.

"How can I have nothing that is suitable?" Estora appealed to the room in general when the fifth gown had proved as poor a fit as the rest.

Wisely, Ellen and the maid said nothing, though Estora did see them exchange looks.

She sat back down on the bed, dejected. Other people in the castle – notably, Karigan amongst them – had gone promenading through the hallways and corridors dressed in nightwear and less, but propriety and Healer Vanlynn demanded proper clothing for the queen.

It was at this point that a knock sounded on the door. Ellen moved with catlike grace to inch it open to see who the visitor was. A moment later and the door was opened wider to admit Captain Mapstone.

The captain's eyebrows raised when she took in the full scene of a queen, dressed only in a nightgown, surrounded by heaps of daywear that had clearly been tried on and discarded.

"Seems my timing is spot on."

"If you mean you're in time to see my ultimate humiliation at not being able to dress, you are correct," muttered Estora.

"About that. Healer Vanlynn came to see me after she'd spoken to you this morning."

"You know my plan?"

"Of course. Karigan is one of my Riders."

"Oh."

"That isn't why I'm here."

"Oh?" Estora looked up and, for the first time, noticed the bundle Captain Mapstone was holding. Parts of it looked suspiciously green.

"She realised that you might, perhaps, have this problem. We also realised that the moment you set foot outside this chamber members of the court are likely to mob you. So I have here the solution to both problems." And so saying, she unfolded the bundle.

As Estora had suspected, it was a Rider uniform shirt, short coat and britches. "Is there not some rule about impersonating a Rider?"

The captain snorted. "I have a feeling that no-one will mind, just this once."

"And it will fit?" Estora looked dubious.

Now the captain actually rolled her eyes. "If our quartermaster can produce uniform for Garth, it can be produced for you."

Knowing Garth's stature, Estora wisely said nothing further and, instead, accepted the shirt as it was proffered

With a little help from her maid and also from Captain Mapstone, Estora was soon dressed and in a state fit to walk the castle. The britches proved to be a much snugger fit than she would have liked, but the shirt was baggy enough to disguise that fact and the short coat completed the look. Then it was only a matter of refastening her hair into the functional braid she'd been wearing during the whole period of bed rest, and she was finally ready.

Estora's gaze fell on Ellen. "I don't suppose you'd consider not following me this afternoon?"

"I would not be attending to my duties if I did that," Ellen replied. "But, I can make it seem as if I am not with you as you and Captain Mapstone walk the corridors."

It was as good as she was going to get. Estora nodded. "So be it. Shall we?"

And the little party set off for the Riders' wing of the castle.

~*~

Karigan tiredly hauled herself up the stairs. She still had little stamina for the running around that being one of Captain Mapstone's minions inevitably caused. At the same time, she felt ridiculous for complaining – even within the confines of her own head – about being given these tasks, because it meant that Captain Mapstone was prepared to treat her almost normally again.

Though with her eyesight as it was – with the _mirare_ – almost normal was probably as good as it was likely to get for a long while yet.

Not for the first time since her return, she wished she still had her old room. That would only be one flight of stairs more. But she didn't. She had a room on the new floor, which was two flights further.

Karigan permitted herself a small whimper. Then she set her teeth and continued to climb. At least being the only Rider on the floor meant she had the bathroom facilities to herself. She consoled herself with plotting the most decadent, lazy bath she could manage. The sort of bath that her aunts had complained about when she'd been a child. That would go some way towards making up for having to criss-cross the castle and grounds no fewer than five times on different errands.

She finally reached the top of the stairs and then stopped dead. There was a Weapon standing guard at her door. Karigan felt her heart clench and her stomach drop. A royal visitor was the last thing she wanted. She hadn't seen the king since he'd turned Yates' drawing over to her, while Estora had been on bed rest ever since the night of her return.

Either of them would present a difficult conversation.

Both of them...

Karigan shook her head. It wouldn't be both king and queen – for one thing, there was only one Weapon at her door and she was gratified to realise that it wasn't Fastion. After seeing what the future held in store for him she didn't know what to say and until she had that problem resolved she really didn't want to be confronted with him.

An internal voice suggested the same went for both Estora and Zachary.

With a practised ease, Karigan ignored it.

"Sister-at-arms." The Weapon, Ellen, greeted her with something that was as much of a smile as an on-duty Weapon would allow.

Karigan offered a nod in return. She was tempted to ask who her visitor was but knew Ellen wouldn't reveal that, so instead she allowed herself to be shown into her own room.

The roaring fire was a nice touch. Ghost Kitty clearly thought so from the way he was sprawled in front of it with all legs splayed as if to catch as much of the heat possible. And there, seated in an armchair Garth had helped her find shortly after moving in, was Queen Estora.

"Your highness I--" Karigan stopped, then frowned as she recognised Estora's mode of dress. "Are you wearing a Rider uniform?"

Estora chuckled. "At your captain's suggestion."

Karigan opened her mouth. Then closed it. Then sat on the edge of her bed.

"It was this or it was walk the halls in my nightgown," Estora continued, a rueful expression now gracing her face.

"Master Vanlynn doesn't take kindly to her patients doing that." The words came out before Karigan could stop them.

For her part, Estora gave a conspiratorial smile. "I don't believe Master Vanlynn takes kindly to her patients doing anything she hasn't officially permitted."

A reluctant laugh forced its way out of Karigan's throat. "No mender does." She swallowed. "Congratulations."

"For escaping the clutches of the menders?"

"For..." Karigan gestured awkwardly with her hands. "Everything."

The fire crackled and popped, the only sounds to be heard in the room for long moments.

"Karigan, I am sorry." Estora clasped her hands across her swollen belly. "I think I've told you before, I did not choose this life – no more than you chose yours – and even if I had, I would not have chosen **this**. To be between two people who love each other."

Karigan flinched. "You know?"

Estora smiled faintly. "It took me far long than it should for me to realise, but yes. I know."

"Oh." Karigan ducked her head.

"Were we not who we are, I would have stepped aside in a heartbeat. Nor would I object if Zachary were to take you as his companion--"

"I would not do that," Karigan cut in.

"I know."

Karigan's head snapped up and she realised Estora was smiling again. "I know you, Karigan. You are too loyal, too principled, to ever be happy in that position. If I had to guess, I might even suggest that you have already turned down such a role." At what must have been a fairly interesting expression, Estora actually laughed. "Once I knew, a great many things became clear to me. I do not blame Zachary for making the request; I certainly hold you above blame for refusing it."

"You are--" But Karigan didn't know quite how to conclude that sentence.

"It helps, I suppose, that I have known all my life that whatever marriage I ended up making would not begin as a love match. It helps, also, that I have known real love and what it is like."

"Fry'an."

Estora nodded. "So I bear you no malice and I would very much like us to remain friends, if you can bear it." She paused. "I hope, also, that you bear me no ill-will for Gillard Ardmore's actions towards you in Blackveil."

Despite the warmth of the room, the name sent a shiver down Karigan's spine. "I know you had no hand in that."

"And yet, it was done on my behalf." Estora's mouth twisted up into a grimace. "And, though only on a technical level, done with my blessing."

Karigan blinked. "I thought it was your cousin's doing."

"It was but--" Estora sighed. "I gave my blessings for Ard's mission – thinking only of the journey through Blackveil. I know now that Richmont had already briefed Ard in what he desired and made it seem they were my orders."

Karigan winced. "If Beryl hadn't already disposed of him--" she trailed off, once more not quite knowing how to conclude her sentence. "I know what it's like to be manipulated. I do not blame you."

"Thank you."

There was another lengthy pause in the conversation. The fire had burned lower, so Karigan added more wood to build it back up. When she straightened, she realised Estora was staring at her.

"Your eye – it is no better?"

Unconsciously, Karigan touched the eye patch she'd taken to wearing. More discreet than the bandages; many people didn't even notice it. No surprise that Estora had, though. "No." She sat back on the bed and hesitated a beat. "And the Eletians – Somial – seem to think that it won't change. That it's permanent."

There was a moment of hesitation on Estora's part. Then she said, "Perhaps – could you tell me what happened? The menders have been seeing to it that I have been 'kept quiet'--" Estora rolled her eyes in a clear indication of what she thought of those orders "--and I feel I am missing much of the story."

Karigan shrugged a little. "It's not an interesting story."

Estora snorted. "I was in the room when you, ah, made your return. I didn't see much, for that was the night I was taken ill, but I saw enough to know that interesting is the least of what the story is."

At that, Karigan found herself smiling ruefully. "I've been told it was quite an entrance."

"That it certainly was – and one Timas Mirwell may never forgive you for."

"He can add it to the list of other things he may never forgive me for."

Estora laughed. "You and he were at Selium together."

"Indirectly, I think all this is his fault."

"Considering how much good you've done, I do not think I'll be mentioning it to him."

And now Karigan laughed. A real, genuine laugh – possibly the first since she'd returned. This felt good and normal after a great deal that had been neither of those things and before she knew it, she'd begun to spill out the whole story. From waking up in the circus casket to the final confrontation and departure from the devastation of time unravelling. Many of the details were fuzzy to her now. Many of the names and places blanked from her memory. But the core story remained, anchored by Yates' drawings and it all unfolded now. Everything, including Cade and all he'd come to mean to her.

She only realised she was crying – sobbing, indeed – when gentle hands forced a fresh, lavender scented handkerchief into her hands. And even then, it took several moments more before she realised that Estora – queen of the realm – was kneeling before her as if their statuses were reversed.

"You loved him," she said. "Cade."

Karigan could only nod. The truth of it that she hadn't dared voice to anyone lest they think her mad finally aired out in the open.

"Oh, Karigan."

And as Karigan continued to sob, she found herself being held by Estora, who hugged her close and whispered soothing nothings until little by little the storm finally passed. Karigan tried to pull away, embarrassed.

"I am—"

"I swear if the next word out of your mouth is 'sorry', I shall demonstrate to you the few martial skills I possess," said Estora fiercely.

At the unexpected venom, Karigan managed a startled laugh. "I am almost tempted, just to see what you mean by that!"

Estora chuckled in turn. "After the experiences with the Second Empire, I decided it would be far more helpful if I knew more than simply how to scream."

Now Karigan did draw back, to be able to look Estora. "I hope you're never in that position again!"

"So do I – but we both know that things in Sacoridia will get far worse before they get better and I have more than myself to think of now."

"True."

There was a moment's pause, as Estora finally returned to the armchair. Karigan took that time to dab at the eye hidden beneath the eyepatch, careful not to lift the patch too far, lest Estora catch a glimpse of it.

"You know," Estora continued, "that the pain of losing Cade won't go on like it is at the moment?"

Karigan knew Estora was speaking from experience.

"Keeping it in as you have does not help."

"Does anything?"

"Time. Time and good friends. And while time might not be something we have in abundance, good friends you certainly do."

"But what if they think I'm mad?" Karigan gave voice to that insidious fear.

"Why should they think you mad? You did as anyone would have done. You lived."

Karigan blinked at the utter simplicity of Estora's words.

"Talk to them," Estora urged.

"I will." And Karigan realised that she meant it.

"Good." Estora smiled. "And should you need somewhere else to be, you are always welcome in the Queen's Solarium. I will always be grateful to see you." Estora paused and frowned for a moment. "Assuming I am not to be placed back on bed rest after this afternoon, of course."

"For your sake, I hope not!"

Estora smiled, but Karigan thought she detected a hint of nervousness to the expression now. "May I ask a favour?"

Karigan nodded. "Of course."

Estora swallowed, as if steeling herself. "May I see it – the _mirare_?"

"Are you certain? I'm told it's hard to look at and--"

"I'm certain." Estora sounded anything but. "Please?"

Karigan slowly reached up and lifted the eyepatch. At once, stars and blackness strobed through her vision with stabs of pain as counterpoint. From somewhere distant, she heard Estora gasp. And then it was too much and Karigan clamped her eyes shut tight until she could fumble the eyepatch back into position.

When she reopened her good eye she saw Estora looked agitated.

"I am sorry--" Karigan began.

"And I am not," said Estora. "Though you are right; it is hard to look at."

With trepidation, Karigan asked, "What did you see?"

Oddly, Estora smiled, though it was still a shaken sort of expression. "Peace. I saw peace."

She might have said more, but at that moment, there was a knock on the door and a moment later, both Ellen and Captain Mapstone entered.

Estora seemed to know what their arrival signified, for her face fell. "Already?"

"Your highness, it is almost time for the dinner bell to sound," said Captain Mapstone. "And the king will be wondering where you've vanished to."

Karigan half expected the usual stab of mingled longing and shame that usually occurred whenever the king was mentioned, but surprisingly the feeling was muted. As if airing everything out with Estora had taken away the shame. Interesting.

"It seems, then, that I must go." Estora slowly eased to her feet.

"Thank you. For seeing me." At once Karigan knew how absurd it sounded. Estora was the queen. Things were supposed to happen the other way around.

The captain and Ellen both smothered amusement.

Estora was nearly out of the door when belatedly Karigan remembered she was still clutching the handkerchief. "What about--" she began.

"Consider it an excuse to visit," came the reply.

That was when Karigan knew that the whole visit had been engineered. Estora had known there was something wrong and had taken steps to fix it. The handkerchief was just a physical reminder. Karigan half thought she ought to be annoyed by the manipulation, but it had been done so skilfully and with genuine care that she couldn't manage more than a faint and extremely token irritation. And behind that feeling was another, more urgent realisation: if Estora had noticed, so too had Fastion.

Perhaps she ought to seek him out before he and the rest of the Weapons found their own way to stage something similar. She suspected their way would probably involve her becoming very bruised and until she'd grown more accustomed to the limitations of her sight, the last thing she desired to do was provoke them.

~*~

Estora sighed with something like relief. She was back where she'd started: in bed, resting, true, but she'd accomplished something. She had finally seen Karigan and they had really talked. She'd finally heard the whole of Karigan's adventures. She'd finally been able to help a friend in the way she herself had once been helped by being a shoulder to cry on. And she'd braved the Looking Mask and seen what was to come.

That was the part that troubled her.

She'd seen the future in the _mirare_ , of that she was positive. It was a future of peace and prosperity for Sacoridia. It should have left her feeling hopeful but for one detail: none of what the mirror showed her suggested she had any place in that future. It was possible that it meant she would die in childbirth, but she suspected a far more sinister explanation for her absence.

"If Karigan can change the future, so too can I," she vowed. "I will learn how to defend myself and my children. I will not go quietly again."

It would be difficult – she had a feeling that while Zachary might applaud her desire to learn, the rest of the court and council would be scandalised. But she would learn.

She had to.


End file.
